Make Them Smile Instead

Why are people so cruel to one another? Is there ever a good enough reason to inflict emotional pain on another human being? Then answer is no, never.

I have dealt with my fair share of verbal harassments. Often times I feel like they are totally justified. In fact, that's my way of coping. I tell myself that I deserve it. That I should take it to heart and grow from it. But that is soooo wrong! I realize now that no one deserves it. I don't care what anyone has done to you, inflicting harm with words is never okay.

This morning I woke up to the following email. I have edited the sender's name out and I will never tell who it is because no one ever needs to know. All you need to know is that the following email crushed me more than a thousand tons of bricks ever could. I spent the entire day in agony (and to be honest, I still ache. I probably will for some time to come).

 

 

Obviously this email was sent by someone who is very angry with me and is in reference to the fact that it is believed that I cannot have children. Anyone who has battled with infertility can probably understand just how painful this is. To be perfectly honest, I don't even understand the depth of how painful infertility can be because I haven't yet been to the point where I am ready to start a family, but just knowing that there is the possibility that I will never get to experience what it is like to have a pregnancy and perform that most sacred duty and honor of a woman devastates me.

 

The point of blogging about this isn't to play victim, however. I simply want to remind you to be kind. Please be kind to one another. You never know what someone is battling, and your hurtful words might just provide the perfect weapon for their defeat. If you have ever been in significant emotional pain, then it shouldn't be hard to make sure you do your best to never inflict that pain upon anyone else.

 

Watch your words today. It doesn't always take something as obviously cruel as what was written in that email to bring someone down. Don't be the cause of someone's suffering. Not when you can be the reason they smile instead.

The Tragedy

Misplaced passions and operative veneers;
Secrets, masquerades; nothing is clear;
Chasing a shadow and loving a ghost;
Riddles, an enigma wrapped in one host;

Cherishing something lost to forever;
Seeking that one thing long since been severed;
A dream long deceased, but clinging to hope;
Finding only more shadows; a slippery slope;

Pining for that which never was mine;
Perhaps never existed; I never could find;
The light I am seeking has long since been faded;
Alone in the dark here; nostalgic yet jaded;

The terrible tragedy, heartrending tale;
Told straight to the soul when veneers finally fail;
Yet lacking lucidity, still there's no clarity;
Not yet understanding; not yet that charity.





 

Allergies??

You know what's crazy? It's crazy that people can just up and develop allergies. Insanity, I tell you! This time 2 years ago I wasn't allergic to a darn thing. (Or, if I was, I was blissfully ignorant.) Now my list is growing. I'm going to have to see an allergist to find out what all I am allergic to for sure, but here is my current list:

• Peanuts
• Cashews
• Soy
• Eggs
• Wheat

And probably other kinds of nuts, too. Do you know how hard it is to avoid ALL of those things if you aren't following a raw vegan or paleo diet (and even then nuts and eggs aren't ruled out)? Very hard. For now I'm sticking with the paleo diet with the exception of I will eat potatoes, beans and rice occasionally. I used to do that anyway, so it's shouldn't matter, but it's different when you HAVE to.

Levi and I discovered a new route to go when we go on our morning walks. Check this out. :)

Ignore that it took me a whopping 14 mins per mile. It wouldn't take nearly that long if I didn't have Levi with me in the mornings. He has to take potty breaks about three times per trip, plus has to say hello to every. single. dog we pass. And I admit that I got distracted by a dolphin that was right by the shore. I had to take his picture/snag a video of him and text it to S, which then started a texting conversation which also slowed me down. Haha. (Worth it!)

Did you notice that we now walk over 5 miles? Yep. I do that in flip flops. I'm going to be blistered for sure by Friday. Oh well. You know what's exciting, though? S will be on my morning walk with me three weeks from today. :D

S left on a hunting trip today. I asked him to text me on his way out of town. but wasn't counting on it because he's been so excited I can hardly expect him to think straight. lol. Much to my surprise, I received a phone call. :) I was flattered. And he has texted a few times, too (also flattering since he is riding up to their hunting spot with his cousin). He's a keeper, I should think. And he'd be willing to go gluten free. Yeah . . . I'm gonna hang on to this one. I think my favorite thing about him is how much I trust him. I never feel any anxiety about our relationship. I know I still freaked out and dumped him once, but that was more out of habit than actual fear. It seems that, since getting that out of my system, I no longer have any desire to flee whatsoever. Let's hope that lasts.

Alright. Time to knock out a little studying. My last exam for my Psychology class didn't go so good. I can't afford a repeat. :-/

The Elk

Here is a drawing that I just did tonight of an elk. He was done with watercolor pencils. This is only my second attempt ever at using these pencils (the first time was the red turtle I did), so don't judge me too harshly. You'd think I'd be able to master both color and shapes, but I can't seem to quite peg both. This guy is a little misshapen, but it was a learning experience. And he's not the worst I've done, so . . . whatever. Here he is:

If I feel up to it tomorrow I may try to fix him. If not, then that's as good as he'll get. Haha.

The Tiny Little Frog

Okay . . . tell me this isn't just too cute!

I found that little guy yesterday morning over by the tennis courts on my way back from my morning walk. I was so stoked about finding him that I didn't even stop to consider that it may or may not be a good idea to pick him up (who knows what is and isn't poisonous around here). Fortunately for me, he wasn't poisonous. :) Look how TINY he is! He is sitting on the tip of my pointer finger there. He had a brother hopping around, but I didn't bother to catch him.

Adorable. <3
 

Until We Could Go No Farther . . .

I guess my morning walks with Levi are going to consistently be just over 4 miles now. We used to go only 3, but I like adding that extra mile in there. I always wear flip flops. so I'm getting some nice little blisters. Ha. Oh well. They'll go away eventually.

I have a ton of homework to get to, so I won't be able to spend much time blogging this morning. Mostly I just wanted to share a few pictures from my walk this morning.

 

My favorite palm trees:

 

The tide was waaaay out this morning:

 

 

The end of the line for Levi and I. We walked until we could go no farther. (2.15 miles down the beach):

 

I think I'll knock out this homework, try to get a little sun/pool time in, see about sneaking in a little kickboxing, and spend the rest of the day with a good book. I think S will be out shooting a new gun he got (shooting some sort of gun, anyway), so I doubt I'll be texting much (which is why I'll actually get to read a book!! Haha.) Just over three weeks until he gets here. Yessssss.

A Few Pictures . . .

Do you all want to see the sunrise that greeted me yesterday morning? Check this out:

Is that an epic sunrise, or what? And that was taken with an iPhone, no less. No color edits, nothing. It was absolutely beautiful.

This was the sunrise a few mornings ago . . .

Not as pretty as that first one, in my opinion, but a stunner nonetheless, eh?

I have my dog with me here again this trip. Look how small and cute and cuddly he is:

That was us spooning. :)

I have some really awesome videos that I wish I could upload, but it just takes too long and I don't have the time to wait. I've got homework up the wazoo and it's stressing me out because I have this overwhelming desire to procrastinate. I really need to stop doing that. Ugh. Time to get back to it. More pictures to come later. After S gets here I'll actually be able to post some pictures where I am in them!

Oh, also, I'd like to share this because I thought it was hilarious and brilliant. ;)