Spanglish?

I'm thinking that it's time for a haircut. I actually tucked my hair into my pants while getting dressed today. My hair is toooo long. My little sister is going to freak out, but I really need to get rid of a few inches.

I. am. exhausted. Lately it seems like all I do is "go, go, go". I know I have free time, but it doesn't feel like I do. I've been spending too much time stressing. I can't wait until school starts. I think that's weighing heavily on my mind. Who knows, maybe I'll live to regret those words. I hope and pray that having class doesn't add too much stress!

You may or may not remember a post I wrote about a year ago when I said there was this one boy that I don't think I'll ever fully get over. Well . . . I had a dream about him last night. It's crazy . . . He hasn't been a part of my life since high school, but I still think about him sometimes. First love, maybe? Who knows .  . .

I've also been thinking about my ex a lot lately. (Since he kicked me out on Christmas Eve, this time of year tends to spark random memories of him.) I still remember the moment I first new without a single doubt that he was cheating on me. The crazy thing is, that moment came before we were married . . . and I still married him. Ugh. *facepalm. The moment I am referring to came after he had left for the Navy. I had these little feelings and intuitions that he was cheating, but zero proof. None whatsoever. Until, that is, the day that he told me he and his Navy buddy, Andy, were going to go see a movie in theatres. What movie?

Spanglish.

Spanglish?

Either you two are knocking boots . . . or you are taking women. Am I right? (I was right.)

I don't know why I ever married that boy. I cared a whole lot about him, but our whole relationship was a disaster. An unhealthy, chaotic disaster. Right from the beginning.

Anyway, I really need to hit the sheets now. Judging by the paleness of my face, I'm going to say I'm coming down with something. Good night, all.

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!

I have been so stressed out that I am having the strangest nightmares almost every night. I can't remember all of them (thank heavens), but there are a couple that have stuck. Two nights ago I dreamt that I had two babies, a little girl and a little boy. Both were redheads even though I knew their father to be a dark brunette. I didn't want kids (their dad wasn't around), so I gave them to some family friends. They named them Aiden and Pearl, and I was PISSED! I hated those names! And then I wanted them back and couldn't have them! I know it sounds silly, but it was one of those dreams that you feel more than anything. It woke me up totally depressed.

Last night I dreamt that I was giving out free lift tickets to Targhee and I was so worried and stressed that I'd get caught. (Ummm . . . ??? NOOO idea where that idea came from. I'm not about to scam my own place of employment.) Anyway, I let my best friend and her family in and she ended up shooting someone and killing them. I saw her a few minutes later fleeing the scene with her crying children, telling them not to be afraid, that mommy and daddy aren't "bad people". (They really aren't. Again -- NOOOO idea where this is coming from.) Then I was worried that they'd tie me to the scene as an accessory since I was the one who gave her the lift tickets. It was horrible!!

This morning I woke up to find that my dvd player isn't working, so I can't do my workout. That alone stresses me out to the point of tears (nearly, anyway). If I don't get a good workout in before work, I lose steam less than halfway through the day. I'm very worried, stressed and pissed about it. And I agreed to work tomorrow (my only day off), so I really screwed myself over. I've been feeling so negative for a few weeks now. I don't know what to blame it on. The weather? Work? School? Maybe a little bit of all of those . . . ? All I know is that I need to get it together soon. I've been over stressed, over worked, and over eating for too long now!!

O Holy Night

Last night I had a really bitter-sweet dream. I won't go into the details (I'm way too tired for that), but I will say that it was about me dating a certain boy and things were going really, really well. I woke up feeling completely in love with him. (But I'm not in real life. Those feelings faded soon after my alarm went off.) I was really happy while the dream lasted, though.

You know what else makes me happy? The fact that I feel like I can blog without it being tainted by readers who don't belong here. I can't tell you how good that feels!!

Christmas is right around the corner again. Isn't that crazy? I spent this afternoon thinking about some of the things that happened this time last year and it blows my mind that they happened a year ago already. Wow.

There's no snow on the ground yet. That's really bitter-sweet. I love that the roads aren't icy yet, but it's weird to have so much rain and no snow in December.

And I'll leave you with this. Enjoy!

 

Aubs had a dream.

I have been so busy that I actually am starting to get a little burned out. I love my job at Targhee, but holy crap! It wipes me out! This drug testing thing is sucking up a significant amount of time as well. The frightening thing is: school hasn't even started yet! Yikes. Life is going to get pretty crazy once I throw a few classes and a bunch of homework into the mix.

Just a random thought I'd like to throw out there: I am so grateful that I have so many lawyers/people involved in law in some form or another in my life. It has been beneficial this past month. I have 3 lawyers in my family and a best friend who's been in Law for 20+ years. I feel like I'm pretty well versed in the matter.

My sister had a dream about me last night, and she remembered it quite well. It was so odd that I want to write it down before I forget it. Since I'm blogging, I guess I'll jot it down here.

So Aubs had a dream that I had three kids. Two girls named Hannah and Leah and a little boy who I apparently decided to name Zach. I was going out of town (to Utah) so I had her babysitting for me. She was pissed about this because she had the Christensen boys over and she didn't want to have any distractions. So she fed my kids pancakes and had them watch a movie while she flirted with the boys. And apparently I had no husband/boyfriend to speak of. Haha.

I guess when I type it out it doesn't seem like such an odd dream. Maybe it was just in the way she told me. ;)

Okay, I hate to be pathetic, but I have got to go to bed. It's already 8:30 and I have to be up super early. I have to work the next three days at Targhee and I'm not really looking forward to it. I'm just too exhausted to be happy about scrubbing toilets and making beds for 8 hrs per day for the next three days. Ugh. I am, however, looking forward to shredding it up on Saturday. Yesssss!