Excited for Snow! . . . (?)

I have had the strangest mixture of emotions going on today. (I hate being a hormonal female.) I've felt everything from extreme joy towards/love for my new job/family of coworkers at Targhee, to moderate pain and anger towards my ex-boyfriend.

Ummm . . . Pain and anger toward my ex-boyfriend? Really??? I've felt regret before, but anger?? At one point, as I was making a bed, it hit me just how angry I really am at him. It may have taken awhile, but it's finally catching up with me, I guess.

I really shouldn't give a sh*t either way. Especially since I'm officially with M. Woot! That boy is adorable. Unfortunately, he will be overseas for work for the next few months. :-/ Bummer.
I had a really weird thought process yesterday. And it wasn't good. It went like this:

Ooooooh, those brownies look good. But I can't have one because I don't want my skin to break out and I don't want to gain weight. But M is out of town, soooo . . .

I ate a brownie. Nope. Can't have that kind of reasoning going on or my pants won't fit by the time he gets home. Yikes. I wish I was the type of person who could eat a brownie now and then, but my skin just won't allow it. I guess my waist line would tolerate a brownie here and there, but still . . . not going there.

By the way . . . that brownie was amazing.

My entire snowsuit is here. I now have a helmet, a "porn beanie", goggles, coat, gloves, snow pants, and socks. And they are all color-coordinated. :) I never thought I'd say this EVER, but . . .

I'M EXCITED FOR WINTER!!!!

 

 

Yep. I said it. I want snow. I want to hit the slopes with all my new gear! I've decided not to buy skiis yet because it's incredibly cheap for employees to rent and I want to learn to board this year. Then I'll decide whether I want to invest in skiis or a board next year. Eventually I'd like to own both. 

 

I'll have to take pictures in my new suit soon and post them.

 

It's sexy! ;)

Gearing Up!

I just ordered the first of my snow gear. Here's what I bought:

On sale for $124.99 (usually $269.99)

 

 

On sale for $84.99 (Usually 164.99)

 

 

On sale for $64.99 (Usually $129.99)

 

 

On sale for $9.99 (Usually $24.99)

 

 

That will be my snow gear for this winter. Thank-you Backcountry.com!!! They have a lifetime guarantee on all of their gear and they will take any item back at any time for a FULL refund -- no questions asked! All it costs to send items back is $6.99 for the return label. And they have free initial shipping on any orders over $50. Think it's too good to be true? It's not! Seriously, go check it out for yourself! You can click on the link above and it'll take you right to the site.

 

(I would just like to thank the boy who showed me this website. You're great!)

 

I had promised to post a few pictures from my week, so I'm going to do that now. Though, I'm not going to post very many. I'm feeling far too lazy.

 

 

^ That is the view that I nearly paid for with my life. (Story is in the previous post.) It's beautiful, but I still have to wonder if it was worth it. ;)

And that is a view of one of the (more than) 300 waterfalls that are apparently located inside of Yellowstone National Park.

Oh! And check out my awesome bruise!

Sexy, eh?







 

My week.

I have had quite a week.

I went to Yellowstone Park with a group of co-workers from Targhee on Tuesday and had a most excellent time. However - I was nearly killed during a random hike that my boss took me on. There were five of us on the trip total, but only Lance and I cared to hike up a steep hillside to get a better view of one of the hot springs. Once we were up there, we could see two members of our party passing the walkway below us. We tried to holler at them to stop, but they couldn't hear us, so Lance decided we'd "head them off". This entailed climbing back down the mountain without following any kind of path.

I seriously was afraid for my life.

After falling once, Lance decided he would be better able to handle the steep landscape if he just "went for it", and I lost sight of him within 15 seconds once he made that decision. I, on the other hand, chose to choose my footsteps carefully and would occasionally drop to my butt to slide down a particularly steep part of the hill. I also clung to tree branches and slowly slid myself down the extremely steep parts.

No question about it: If we were to fall, we were to die. Haha.

I finally caught up to Lance while he was walking across a really large log that acted as a bridge across a little "gully" of sorts saying, "Ooohhhhhh . . . you can feel just how hollow and rotted this log is!"

Ummmm . . . . No.

I found a way to go under the log even though it required climbing down and back up some very steep places.

Ultimately we both made it to the bottom virtually unharmed. My adrenaline was sure pumping, though. About 10 minutes after getting back to the car, I was beat. Like, "time-for-a-nap" beat. But we couldn't nap yet because we still had to hike to Old Faithful. Not that that's really a "hike". Just a walk, actually. But I was tired enough that it sucked.

Our trip started at 7 a.m. and ended at 8 p.m.. So . . . that was my Tuesday.

Today we went to the boat with the Mattsons (who are considered members of our family) and a new family we just met (who is now considered family as well). The new family is from California. They know my brother since he is now serving in their area and goes to their ward. When he heard they were traveling to Utah, he told them they "had" to stop by Idaho and meet all of us. So they did. And it was awesome. I've known them less than twenty-four hours, but we were exchanging "love you's" by the time they left. That's how much our families bonded while they were here.

I had a date earlier this week. I'm going to keep the juicy details to myself, but you all can know that I really like this boy. I'm not going to start throwing "he may be the one" statements out there just yet (I did that with Z, and we all know how that turned out), but I will say that he's at least an option. And at the moment - the only option. Haha. We'll see what the future holds.

I'll post some pictures and possibly some videos later this week. If I get time. I actually don't have a day off of work until Sept. 15th, so . . . I'm going to be pretty busy.

 

Bad Influence.

We went to the lake today. It's been about three weeks since I saw the sun for any extended length of time and I FRIED. Ugh. Well . . . fried for me. So . . . I'm a little pink. Haha. Still, I hate "burning" at all.

I destroyed another nail waterskiing. I need to remember to cut them off before I go!

I also took this picture.

As you can see, it's adorable.

My phone is teaching me how to speak French. I fully expect to be fluent by the end of the month. (Okay, maybe not.)

Oh! For my birthday I got a pair of 5lb dumbbells (they were much needed and appreciated), a pair of rollerblades, a fun little nail-care kit . . . and this:

What is it? you ask? Well, according to Milo (who is the boy in the picture who gave it to me) it serves many purposes. Here is him modeling it in action:

Apparently it can be a helmet, earmuffs to block out both sound AND noise, or simply a fabulous fashion accessory. (He made it himself. Imagine that. Isn't that adorable!) ;)

Look how nice these rollerblades are!

Pretty, huh!

Speaking of "pretty" here are a few pictures from our hike the other day. It's all smokey from all the fires, so they aren't very . . . colorful . . . but it's still a beautiful view!

And here's this one, too -- just for the heck of it.

Okay. I need to go wash the lake water off me. I have a date tonight. Drive-in in IF and then sleeping under the stars. I barely know the guy. And when I say "barely" I mean barely. But he's pretty effing cute, so whatever. Let's all pray I don't end up a rape victim. Haha!


I also did this new karaoke song. It's a little pitchy, but it's extremely low, so . . . that's the way it goes.



My Birthday!

I have had a truly wonderful birthday so far. In fact - it's the best one I've had in years. Years. It started with my sister and I heading to Targhee to do a little hiking. We were planning to be up there by 8, but I got literally NO sleep last night, so we didn't get up there until about 9:40. Still, the weather was perfect, even despite the smokey, smoggy air. We hiked a few different trails, but found this little nature trail that was perfect for trail running. It wasn't too steep and it only took about 10 minutes to run. So we did it twice. :) We rode the lift to the top to do a little sight seeing. I'ts beautiful up there! I just wish it wasn't so smokey. :-/

Then we headed to IF. You know what that means . . .

SUSHI!!

We also hit up the Kiwi Loco for some frozen yogurt. Now I'm back home and getting ready to kick it with the fam before heading to bed. I finally get to go back to work tomorrow. My back has had me out of comission all week, but Uncle Al fixed it for me last night (turns out it was severely out), so I should be golden. :)

Another thing that has made today great: My phone is back to buzzing all day long. I love it when a boy takes this kind of interest in me. Especially when he's all dark and cute! It's great having my phone dead by 11 a.m.. And I'm not kidding. I love it!

Oh, I haven't opened presents yet, so I don't know what I've gotten. I guess I'll go join the party and see what's up. Haha. ;)

Randomness.

Tomorrow is my birthday. What are my plans? Well . . . Aubrey and I are going to go for a nice hike up at Targhee in the morning, then ride the lift at lunch. Then we plan to head to Idaho Falls and have a delicious sushi dinner and maybe a movie?? I also have to pick up the china hutch I just bought for my new place. (It's gorgeous!) I'm supposed to be buying a used couch from a guy, too . . . but he hasn't returned my calls, so . . . maybe he changed his mind??

Can you believe I'm going to be 27? Yikes.

I have another date tonight. The plan is to either play pool or play some board games. It's still up in the air a bit, depending on my back. I also have plans to go spend a weekend with my boy, Daniel. Or "Plan B". Haha. I guess there was a little truth to that statement - even though it severly annoyed me at the time.

Okay, I have a confession. There are two songs that I really like (thanks to my teenage sister) that I really shouldn't like. Listen for yourself. (A few friends of mine like to tease me about the lyrics to the second song. My last boyfriend was NOT a criminal, okay? He just had a minor run-in with the law.)

Cher Lloyd - Cher Lloyd - Want U Back (Cahill Radio Edit) ( 2012) [ www.HottestTracks.com ]

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Britney Spears - www.SongsLover.com - Criminal - www.SongsLover.com


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There's this boy . . .

. . . and I've agreed to go on a date this weekend with him. I'm really nervous about this one. He's been a friend for so long that it's a little intimidating to see him on a "more than friends" level - even the only-slightly-more-than-friends level of a simple, casual date.

Here are the things about him that make him wonderful:

- Dark, long/shaggy hair, dark eyes,
- Excellent ability to grow facial hair,
- Loves to hike/climb/mountain bike, so consequently has very nice muscles ;),
- The boy can siiiing,
- He loves sushi,
- Was a firefighter for 7 years - only recently retired,
- Is now an artist (love!),
- Served a foreign mission (so, is LDS),
- Prefers dogs to cats,
- Is very romantic,
- Knows exactly what to say to make me giddy,
- Has the cutest dimples,
- Is one of my most trusted, best friends.

That's a pretty good list of things. That last one is what scares me the most. I hope going on a few dates doesn't destroy our friendship.

He points out that going on dates with us being such good friends could mean that we would just have an even better time on our date(s) than we otherwise would. He also points out that, because we are such good friends already, we could really hit it off and be together "forever".

I would just like to point out that - while his final point is true - the opposite is also true. We could end up completely hating each other and never speaking again. I have a talent for bringing these kinds of things into action. And I would genuinely miss him in my life. In fact - I think losing his friendship would hurt equally as much as my divorce did. I really think it would . . .

Speaking of my divorce . . .

I have decided that I have never been in love. Not even with my ex husband. Sure . . . I loved him, but I wasn't in love with him, and I don't think I ever have been with anyone. I think the fact that I feel as strongly about two other boys as I ever did for my ex husband is proof enough. There's no way I've been in love with multiple people after spending only a few months dating them. I think I simply loved them. But no deeper.

I can't decide whether that fact should make me sad or not . . .

Ultimately, I think not . . . because I'd rather save that for the person I do end up with forever. (If that ever happens. I may be "doomed" to a life of casual dating and non-commitments. So far, I've strangely been okay with that.)

On a completely different note: If you've never read any of the books by Child and Preston, you maybe should. They aren't the most amazing books I've ever read, but I am pretty in love with their Pendergast books. (Hey! I guess I have been in love before!) ;) And they make for an entertaining read - if you like that sort of stuff. Which I do.

Seriously, though . . . If that Pendergast character were real . . .

Molly Buttons.

I messed up my back. And I messed it up good. That's me, though. "Go big or go home". I screwed it up at work. I continued to work despite the pain for a good two hours before I finally had to tell my boss that I had hurt myself.

Gah! That was embarrassing.

I would have kept working, but it got to the point where I was really wishing that I had a back brace or pain killers or was dead or something.

I had to fill out an incident report and they sent me home. :( Not only did it damage my pride, but it's got me feeling really disappointed in myself. Like I failed or something. I guess I feel that way because I've been doing so well at work (up until that point).

Oh well.

I had to take the day off yesterday and today, so I did another pet portrait for Becky. This is her dog "Molly Buttons". I'm going to post the progression photos.

Annnnnnnnd . . . .

She's done!

I've learned two important facts when it comes to photographing a drawing.
1) Charcoal drawings always look better in pictures.
2) Pencil drawings always look worse in pictures.

This one is a pencil drawing, so it looks MUCH better in person than in that picture - trust me.

Here is Molly and Joanie side-by-side. :)

Drawing is so fun. I'm so glad I have enough talent to get away with attempting stuff like this. They may not be perfect, but they are good enough for me. I've already accepted that my talents are only mediocre, but I have a billion of them, so . . . whatever.

Tainted Music.

I have a new rule about music. No more listening to new/favorite artists while getting to know/starting to date a new boy.

I hate that I have practically no music on my whole iTunes list that doesn't remind me of some boy from my past.

I can't listen to any of early Rihanna, early Maroon 5, Blackeyed Peas, or any of the hit music from the years 2004 - 2009 without thinking of my ex hubby. (Who I think is coming to town, btw. I keep having dreams about him. So far that has always meant I'm about to see him.)

I can't listen to Lady Gaga, My Darkest Days, Beyonce's latest album, Incubus, Katy Perry or 30 Seconds to Mars without thinking of my ex from last summer.

And now I can't listen to Alex Clare, Trampled by Turtles, the newest Rihanna album, Fun., Dispatch, The Dirty Heads, Mumford & Sons, O.A.R., Slightly Stoopid, Nicklecreek, The Black Keys, Young the Giant, Imagine Dragon, Grafitti6, Rusted Root, Grace Potter & the Nocturnals, Of Monsters and Men, or Yuna without thinking of my most recent ex.

The thing that's the biggest bummer is that all of the artist I mentioned in that last list are ones I just discovered. And now they are probably forever tainted with what are now painful memories.

So . . . I am on a quest for a new playlist. And as soon as I start dating a new boy, I revert back to listening to "old" music.

No more tainted music!

:)

The Bluegrass Festival up at Targhee has been amazing, btw. I am really excited about working up there during it. I've gotten to meet a lot of the band members of the Infamous String Dusters and Donna and the Buffalo.

They are amazing. :) Musicians are often outside jamming or having playoffs in the hallways. It keeps work exciting, and I'm really diggin' it. I'm thinking I'll head back up there tonight and enjoy the show for a few hours since work wasn't too overwhelming today. :) I wish I had a date to take with me, but none of the guys I'm currently dating (all two of them who have asked me out recently, haha) have an appreciation for Bluegrass, so I feel like it's kind of a waste. I guess I'll go alone and meet someone who's having themselves a good time. ;)

In Common With A Banana.

Can you spot the dog in this picture?

There he is!

So my family recently discovered this game called "What's YOURS like?". It's pretty darn fun. How you play is, you pick a card and pay attention to the word written on it. For instance, the word could be something like: "House", and then you have to describe (in as subtle hints as possible) what your house is like. Meanwhile, someone tries to guess what's written on the card. So for an example of a hint, I might say, "Mine is big", or "Mine is full of electronics". It has to be something true of "yours", but you don't want it to be too obvious.

Anyway, we discovered this game and the hints that sometimes give it away are HILARIOUS. For instance: Today the card read: "shower" and my sister, Hailee, was guessing. My sister, Aubrey's, clue was: "I do something weird in mine that not everyone does" and Hailee guessed it.

What?

(By the way, it was "brushing her teeth" - that's the "weird" thing she does. I do it too.)

Or even better: The other day we were playing with my grandparents. The card read, "Hand". My grandma was guessing. We were trying to give fairly obvious hints - "mine is part of a pair", "I use mine for nearly everything" - but she wasn't getting it. Then my grandpa says, "Mine has something in common with a banana". My grandma turns toward him. "OH! Your HAND!"

What??

. . . Wow.

Good Man Down.

When Z was here visiting, I took him into Hastings and we ran into a good buddy of mine named Josh. As Josh and I were talking, Z walked away and sat down to watch some sports. Josh made the comment that none of the guys I date ever like him. In fact, they often times want to fight him. (It's actually true . . . haha. I think it's because Josh and I have great chemistry and other guys pick up on that. Thing is, J and I are strictly friends, as we've always been.)

Anyway, bearing that in mind -- A few weeks ago I walked back into Hastings and Josh was there. I had my little dog, Levi, with me and he instantly started growling at J, so J made the comment that Levi is just one more "man" in my life who hates him. Then we proceeded to talk a little bit about some of the guys I've dated, and somehow the conversation went in such a direction that Josh ended up calling me a "player" and a "maneater".

Ouch!

I, of course, denied those allegations fervently, to which he replied with, "How's that guy you brought in here the other day? Still happily together?"

. . . . . .  Damn it! (At the time Josh predicted I'd "break the man's heart" within two months.)

So I had to tell him that, no . . . we are not in fact still together. J asked what happened, so I had to tell him that I broke things off shortly after my trip to Montana. Then I quickly added that I actually regret it, though.

J said it didn't matter. I'm a "maneater". When I denied it again, he asked if the guy will still talk to me.

Nope.

Apparently that fact solidified his argument.

Even though J was saying it in fun, he still meant it. And it cut me pretty deep because I really don't like that about myself. I don't like to think of myself as a "maneater" or a "player", but I do realize that I skip out on relationships a lot.

Becky and I were talking the other day about my lingering feelings for Z, and we decided that they might be because he actually walked away from me. Even though I technically broke up with him, he's still the one who cut me off all the way (because I pushed for that). And Becky's right . . . That just doesn't happen to me too often. Not because I'm such a great catch that no guy would dream of dumping me, but rather because I tend to run away before they can even find a reason to break up with me. Haha. Anyway, so my feelings for Z may just be this need to chase?? Is that possible? I guess I'll never know . . .

Then, this morning, I woke up to this email.

I heard this song today and instantly thought of you because of the lyrics. I think you should take a good, hard listen, Gem. I think they suit you. Or, rather, your "story". --Matty

This is the song:

:(

He wrote me a really sweet email to go along with it (I don't care to share that on here just now, though). But still . . . that's really sad that boys think of me when they hear that song.

I've got to change.

Make That Face Again!

I love my job. I mean, it's hard work . . . and I'm exhausted AND famished by the time I get home, but I still love it. Today I FINALLY got to ride the lift up and back down again on my lunch break. I have wanted to do it all week, but haven't had the chance. The very first day I didn't pack a lunch, so I had to order food from the Broken Spur (or whatever it's called), and by the time it was served to me, it was too late to ride the lift. The next day I packed a lunch and was all ready to get on when one of the sweet little 19 year old girls who works there approached me and asked me if I'd eat lunch with her since the Ukrainian girls "don't like her" and "they do like me". Soooo . . . I sat with her (and started a dialogue between her and the Ukrainian girls . . . I think they get along now.) :) Today I actually took my lunch about 3 minutes early so I would have no interruptions before I could get to the lift. And . . . success!!

The pictures on the way down are a little too bright, as you can clearly see. :-/ Oh well.

One of my male coworkers was at the bottom of the lift when I finally got back down. He saw me and the following conversation ensued.

Him: "Did you ride the lift . . . alone?"
Me: "Yes I did."
Him: "You should have told someone! I'm sure someone would have gone with you. I'd have gone with you . . ."
Me: "It's cool, actually. I wanted to go . . . 'alone'."
Him: "Why would you want to go alone when you could go with one of us? We're the fuzzz!"

I gave him a sarcastic look, probably with my tongue out and he said, "Whoa! Hold on, make that face again!"

(So I did.)

Him: "Do you know who Mila Kunis is?
Me: "Nope."
Him: "Well, when you get home, take a picture of yourself making that face and then google her. But it has to be from that sideways angle."
Me: "Oooookaaaay . . . Why?"
Him: "Because - from certain angles - you look exactly like a whiter version of that chick."

Soooo . . . I came home, opened up my webcam and took this picture.

I can kind of see it. Not really, though. (And if I'm being honest, I had to TRY to make a face similar to hers.) I think it's just my giant, buggy eyes. Haha.

Here is a picture of Mina Kunis (just in case you don't know who she is, either.) Now that I see a picture of her, I realize I do know who she is . . . I just didn't know her name.

Love for my hair!

I just want to take a second and say how much I love having long hair . . . and how grateful I am to have it.

One of the most common responses I get when people learn I've had cancer (3 times) is, "Ohhhh, so is that a wig?"

To which I reply, "No." (with a smile)

They usually respond with something like, ". . . Extensions?"

"Nope."

I feel so lucky to have this hair!!

Reasons I'm Useless.

Man, I have been busy this week.

And I am exhausted.

Water skiing on Saturday was a blast. I destroyed a nail, though. Those of you on my fb probably saw the picture I posted. My nail is now missing about a quarter of it. Haha. My forearms are also destroyed. More on that in a moment.

I started a new job this week. And I am STOKED.

STOKED!

I am now a member of the staff at Grand Targhee. It's as a maid . . . but I still love it! I've usually worked up a pretty good sweat by 10 a.m. that stays with me until I leave that evening, so this job should whip me into pretty good shape. The benefits are worth every drop, too. I get to ski this winter at Targhee (and any of the resorts in Jackson) for FREE! I also get a free trip down the Snake. Friggen excited about that. There's a rock wall I can climb for free, a gym I can use for free. I can ride the lift and go on any of the hikes for free. And I get great discounts on all sorts of other stuff - both up at the hill and down in town. :D

(Again, for emphasis) :D

Now, about my forearms. I pretty much destroyed them Saturday water skiing. Sunday morning I woke up and discovered a pretty long list of things I couldn't do. Some of these items included (but were not limited to):

- Gripping a toothbrush, gripping a hairbrush, gripping eating/writing utensils, gripping anything,
- Putting on a bra, putting on pants, putting on makeup, dressing myself like a normal, functioning adult,

That's pretty much the basics. But at least I could still drive! Now that I've been working at Targhee all week with already-sore forearms, that list has grown to include the following:

- Driving,
- Moving my fingers,
- Typing (yes, typing),
- Working,
- Lifting anything that weighs more than .000000000028 oz,
- Being of any use at all,

I'm pretty sure they are going to have to amputate by the time I'm done typing all this out.

One other note about my job at Targhee: I've been feeling a little sorry for myself lately because my dating life has come to a very sudden and abrupt halt. Well . . . I don't think that's going to be an issue anymore! ;) And these are the kinds of boys I like. "Ski bum - hippy types"with long hair and few aspirations. Haha. (Only joking - Mostly.)

I dig it.

Even if my mom doesn't.

Time to go. I think dinner is done and my sister has agreed to feed me if I hurry downstairs.

Kidding!


Dinner's not done yet. It's only 5:30 for goodness sakes!

;)