Brown Eyes

Becky and I had a discussion on the phone the other day that hurt my heart a little and inspired me to sing this song.





 And this one . . .

 

Annnnd this one . . .





It's a little sad how low the odds of meeting someone you completely click with are, isn't it? I've been on quite a few dates and met quite a few new guys in the past two years, but there have only been 2 that I clicked with right from the get-go. That sucks. That's an average of 1 per year. I better hang on to the next one who comes along like that or else I'm going to be 30 before I get remarried. Yikes. But I am determined to have that chemistry right from the start. I do believe that love and chemistry can grow with time, but it's never the same! I really feel that there has to be that passion and chemistry right from the first conversation. It's happened before to me, so I know it exists. It's just rare. But I'm going to hold out for it.



 

First blog from my phone!

Sooooo.... I'm apparently locked out of my car AND my parent's house. I stopped by for... A "feminine emergency". As I was getting out of my car, I locked it, and as I locked it I realized I had left the keys in it. I shrugged it of... nbg... I have a spare key in my parent's house. Walked up the steps, tried to open the door. Nope. Locked. I checked every door and window and... nothing. So now I have to wait an hour for my dad to get home and let me in. Kind of ironic (and lousy) considering the nature of my emergency.

Ugh. Balls.

As you can see, I'm blogging as a distraction/way to preserve my sanity. I hate unexpected complications like this I'm too OCD for this shiz!! Haha. I also happen to be wearing shorts and it's freezing out here!! Lame. I'm thinking some hot tea is in order immediately upon my entry into the house.

This is my first blog from my phone! Kinda cool, I guess. Well, I guess I'll find some way to make myself useful (without moving around too much) while I wait. I'm thinking I'll weed this flower patch even though it's almost October. Wth. Nothing better to do!

Disgusting.

You know what concept I don't get? Drugs. I don't get it. At all.

Take for example this article.

That literally pisses me off. What the eff is wrong with people? Why, why, why would anyone want to take a drug that makes you see the shit described in that article?????? How is that fun? Eff, people! Learn to do something constructive with your lives before you end up a vegetable in some government funded home, mooching off of the hard-working, tax-paying Americans who have half a brain and avoid that type of garbage!

Ugh. Disgusting.
 

Oh, the things I've done.

Things I've done in the past few days:

-Dehydrate Bananas. This is about as "domestic" as I get. Normally.
-Clean out and rearrange nearly EVERY cupboard in my mother's kitchen. I've been house sitting. And it's been boring.
-Read 2 (yes, TWO) books.
-Hauled wood from one pile to another using a wheelbarrow when I could have used a trailer. I desperately needed to do something "active". For the record: my parents yard is uphill leading to the porch, so I had to push the wheelbarrow uphill and then carry the wood up the stairs and to the far end of the porch. I'm surprised I never got sore, honestly.
-Watched "The Woman in Black" with three teenagers while babysitting them.
-Locked the keys in my car while babysitting those same three teenagers and had to get a ride back to Victor for all of us.
-COOKED! Whaa??? I know. Crazy. But I had to. (Babysitting, remember?)
-Played Skyrim. Yes, I caved and bought it. Ugh.
-Worked on my book, but not nearly enough. (Damn you, Skyrim!)
-Gave myself a complete pedicure. It took over an hour.
-Gave Aubrey a complete pedicure/manicure. It took just under two hours. I guess I decided I should do SOMETHING with my degree in "nail technology". Haha.

Want to know what I didn't do?

Work.

Not once. And it sucks. I get to go back on Wednesday. In the meantime I'm playing this "domestic" role full-time. Like I said, I'm "babysitting" my baby sis while my parents are in Florida. (Btw, if you are some creeper getting ideas about us being home "alone", just shake those thoughts from your disgusting mind right now. I have a gun. And I'm good with it.)

Anyway, Aubs and I have been hanging out--just the two of us (and my gun)--for a week now. The Mattson kids came to stay the weekend with us and we rented The Woman in Black. That was an interesting couple of hours. If I wasn't feeling so lazy, I'd share the story. But I'm feeling too lazy. I will tell the story about locking my keys in my car, though.

After watching said movie, the teens and I all headed to Driggs to clean and close the laundromat. I left the keys in the Cadillac (because it's a force of habit--I do every time I clean the place), but Milo accidentally hit the lock button as we got out of the car. We didn't notice until about 10:30 (pm), soooo I had to ask an employee from Subway to drive us home. Which she did. (Thank-you!) It's kind of funny because as we were standing outside of the car I was thinking, hmmm, this sucks. I wonder what we're going to do. I looked around at the kids and realized that I was the adult in the situation. It was me that was expected to get us home. It's not that I'm not used to responsibility. It was just a weird moment. I'm really not sure why. Annnd that's that story . . .

Remember how I mentioned I cooked? It's true. Shocking, I know. But here's a little fact for you all that I usually try and keep well hidden:

I am actually a really great cook. Like, really good. Only problem is, I HATE to do it, so that talent is completely wasted on me. That's why the whole "vegan" thing suits me so well. It's not that I'm lazy, because I LOVE to clean. I just hate cooking. Period. Noooo idea why. In fact, if someone forces me to cook when I don't want to I tend to intentionally screw it up just so they won't ask again. Ridiculous, I know. But that's life. I don't intend to cook ever again unless I decide to get remarried and my husband demands it. Haha.

Oh! I finally took a picture of my ski gear! Check it out . . .

I even have a really cute, matching grey turtleneck and warm, thick, white pants. :) (I was wearing them, but you obviously can't see them under my coat and snow pants.) Here it is from the back.

I'm not dreading snow this year. It's kinda nice . . .

All About Zac.

So, remember how I mentioned that I developed a celebrity crush on Zac Efron? Yeah . . . Wanna know how? No? Too bad. I'm telling you anyway.

It all started with me renting the movie The Lucky One. (I know what you're thinking and stop! It's premature. It's definitely not what you think.) As I was saying, I rented the movie The Lucky One and watched it at about . . . Ohhhh . . . 9 pm. (It was alright, btw. Not great. Not bad. Whatever.) The whole time I'm watching it I'm thinking, Wow. This movie is kinda cheesy, but I still kinda like it. And that guy is preeetttty. Then, after watching it, I worked on my book (editing a few chapters) and as I was working, I realized that my main character looks a lot like Zac Efron. This of course was completely NOT on purpose since I really didn't even know who Zac Efron was when I started the book.

Anywho, as I'm editing and tweaking and writing, I'm picturing my main character, Andy, as Zac Efron. And that's how I got my crush.

Still confused?

Someday you can read my book and you won't be. It'll allll make sense. ;)

Anyway, I have had a couple of very productive days. I'll go into that more tomorrow (or Saturday) (or whenever I feel like blogging next), but one of the things I did was watch the movie 17 Again. (Why? Ummm . . . Zac Efron movie, hello.) I've seen it before, but it's been awhile. As I was watching it this second or maybe third time, I remembered being impressed with Zac's acting the first time I watched it. He does a fabulous job of being a young Matthew Perry character. He even moves the way Matthew Perry characters move. So, this time around, I really paid attention to the movie and I realize that . . . I really like it. Is it a favorite? Meh. Maybe in the top 20.

I would like to take just a second and explain to you all that my "crush" isn't anything more than a relative interest, really. I'm not about to print out pictures of Zac Efron and paste them up all over my house. He won't even be my computer wallpaper. (Ooooh, maybe he should be my computer wallpaper -- he's so pretty!) Okay, MAYBE he'll be my wallpaper, but that's as far as it goes. I'm not even about to run out and purchase every Zac Efron movie. Which is impressive. I mean, if I was going to do something obsessive, that would be it. I already own over 800 dvds. What's 5 or 6 more?? So, to sum up this weird and awkwardly constructed paragraph: I'm not obsessed with Zac Efron. I just think he's pretty. And, let's face it . . . TALENTED! Have you seen the boy dance? And sing? And juggle? And do impressions? And act? And ski? And dance?? And sing??? . . .

*Sigh*



 

A Couple of Things . . .

1st off, I have a celebrity crush. And it's on . . . Zac Effron . . . ? What? Crazy, but true.

2nd of all, Aubrey and I had a little fun today and made these. (Yes, those are our unedited voices. And yes, I did the low voice in Barbie Girl. I'm that cool.)

 

That's all.

The Story.

I'm going to share a new song with you that I love. It may have been around for awhile -- I don't know -- but I just discovered it the other day.

Brandi Carlile - The Story .mp3

Found at bee mp3 search engine

So now . . . on a completely different note . . .

I firmly believe that people come and go in our lives for a reason. I'm talking a predetermined, predestined reason. I think back on some of the people who have come and gone in my life (boys especially) and I can see now exactly what "purpose" they served. There was the boy from last summer who quite literally saved my life. Maybe not in the "saved-me-from-imminent-death" kind of way, but he still saved my life. If it wasn't for him, I'd hate to think of where I am today. He motivated me in ways that I don't think anyone else could have and set important things in motion for me. And even though I haven't heard from him in about 2 months (and don't expect to ever again), I still would like to thank him for that. (So, should you ever read this, thank-you for the things you did for me. Without you I wouldn't be as happy or as healthy. I wouldn't be singing or writing or even drawing. You can bet my first book will be dedicated to you.)

Then there were the boys from last winter. They helped to keep that motivation up after summer-boy was gone.

And the boy from this past spring/summer served a purpose, too. I think his purpose was to open my eyes to the things that are out there in this world that I was completely naive to. He really did show me a whole other side to life that I now enjoy everyday. He also taught me some lessons that are slightly more negative (and personal), but they were lessons nonetheless. And they were lessons that I clearly needed to learn. He also (ironically) helped me to realize how important the church is to me and has helped motivate me to get back to the Temple. It's been waaaay too long since I went last. (So, should YOU ever read this, thank-you, boy. Thank-you for all the things you showed me and introduced me to. Without you, I'm not sure I'd ever have the desire to explore new opportunities quite like I do now.)

Even my ex husband served his purpose. In fact -- he served the biggest one of all. (Of course, right?) My years spent with him taught me more about myself than I would've learned any other way. Those years I spent so unhealthy and miserable really showed me my own true colors. I think the saddest thing about our relationship is that he remembers me that way instead of as the girl he knew in high-school (who is more similar to the girl I am now -- only a little more mature. Just a little.) ;) I sometimes wish that he and I could have remained friends. In fact -- I wish that about the previous two, also. At least only one of them has cut me off completely. And, ironically, it's not my ex-hubby. Haha.

I think about my life-long best friend. She's been a rock for me my whole life even though she doesn't know it. She's ALWAYS been there for me, and no matter how long we stay apart and "lose contact" she's always willing and available to pick things back up right where they left off. She is now and will forever be my sister and best friend.

I think about my other best friend. My "long-distance-bestie". Her advice has gotten me through many hard times. (Mainly break-ups.) She's seen things in my relationships and been a good enough friend to point them out to me -- even when they weren't what I wanted to hear. She has my best interest at heart.

And I think about the boy I'm currently with. I don't yet know what his "purpose" is. Does he just have another lesson to teach me, or is he just here temporarily to add some further motivation to my life? Or is he maybe here for the long-haul?

It's exciting and comforting to know that I'll someday know the answer to that. It makes the unknown aspects of it more bearable.

Back to the song I posted above for a moment. Did you listen to it? Did you like it? I happened to do it on Singsnap too. It's not fair to judge me against the artist because she's a professional and I'm not. AND she performed hers in a recording studio and had her voice tweaked to perfection whereas . . . I did not so . . . Ignore the sour notes that are typical in my songs and ENJOY!

 

And if you happened to like that and want to share it on your fb page, Click Here. ;)

 

Just a few things . . .

Many of you have probably seen this story already, but I wanted to share it on here anyway because I think it's absolutely wonderful.

(Click Here.)

I'm also super addicted to this song right now.

Annnnnnd this one.

I ended up having a good, productive day yesterday, just for the record.  Today . . . not so much. I went to work this a.m., was off by noon and have spent the rest of the day reading. I rented The Hunger Games, so the plan is to watch that a little later.

I really don't have much else to say at the moment. Life is boring without my Matty blowing up my phone. :-/ Oh well. Back to my book.


 

Getting Lost In Oblivion.

Ugh. Ya know?

I am having an undeniably "downer" morning. I have the serious urge to sit on my ass and get lost in a video game. Yep. A video game. I haven't played a video game in a verrrry long time, and right now it sounds sooo appealing.

What video game?

None other than one of the Elder Scrolls games. Either Morrowind or (most likely) Oblivion. (Besides, the name is totally suiting. Get lost in Oblivion. Get it? ) I almost wish I could get my hands on Skyrim, but not really because I think that one would suck up too much of my time. I just want to get lost for a few hours is all.

I suppose I could play the Sims, but I don't think that game would be distracting enough. I need an activitiy that is either completely mind numbing or consuming.

I miss my M. A lot more than I thought I would. That's always the way it goes, though, eh? I was asked out for Wednesday or Thursday night, which would be a nice distraction, but I don't know that I'll go. It used to be that I'd go on dates just for fun and no other reason, but now I find myself thinking, if it's not going to go anywhere, why bother? Umm . . . because it's fun? Or it should be, anyway, but recent experiences have taught me that dating someone while missing someone else isn't fun.

Sooo . . . I probably will get "sick". (No, I'll be honest with him.)

Since I can't make it to work today, I think my agenda will look something like this:

Finish this blog post,
Finish cleaning my room up,
Finish packing and moving my clothes and exercise stuff,
Play a video game,
Work on my book,
Go to bed.

And maybe I'll throw a movie in there somewhere.

And at some point in the day I WILL turn my day around and make it a good one. (Probably at the video game part.) ;)

Biggest Fan Award.

Wow. I am sleepy. I think I've managed to accumulate about 8 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours. That's not enough for me. I'm one of those people who needs at least 7 per night to function properly.

While you're here, you should check this out!

Did you notice the comment at the bottom? That lady is too sweet. She's brought a lot of traffic through to my songs. She definitely wins the "biggest fan" award. Haha. Her compliments have been appreciated. I've been needing an ego boost lately.

Oh. I'm single again. Just in case any of you are trying to keep up with my drama. M and I didnt' have some epic fight/break-up or anything. We just decided that we'd cool it until he's back in the US. Well, I decided that . . . and he was cool with it because he's truly amazing.

Okay, it's only 9:45, but I seriously have to go to bed now before I die. Haha.