Last night I had a dream that my ex facebook messaged me and told me that he was going to call me in 15 minutes. Then, 20 minutes later, he messaged me again and said something along the lines of, "we decided to go and eat, I'll call in 30". 30 minutes later he messaged again and said, "we are going to take (his niece) to the park for sunset, I'll call later." And then he never called or messaged again.
This is exactly what my married life was like. Empty promises and a permanent spot at the bottom of his priority list. This dream stirred up all those old emotions and has got me all freaked out about relationships again. For the moment. It'll pass.
Seriously, though. There is nothing worse than feeling unimportant to someone who is so important to you. I hope none of you know what I'm talking about, but I think the reality is . . . a lot of people experience that feeling at some point. I think that the next time I get married, I'm going to date the guy for awhile first and make sure he has his priorities straight. I don't want to experience anything like that ever again. Gah. Pain.
However - one good thing has come from all of those experiences, I think. I am now VERY impressed when a guy bothers to call me or say something that hints he's really into me. And I'm VERY impressed when they keep even the smallest of promises. ESPECIALLY the smallest of promises. I think it says so much. In a way, I think I need that more than I would have in the beginning in order to stay comfortable in a relationship, but at the same time . . . it doesn't take much - it's all about the simple things.
I have a new favorite song. And I LOVE it. I think it would be the best song to makeout to. I could even picture just cuddling on the couch and talking while this song plays in the background. I have a feeling this one will be at the top of my favorites list for a while.
This is exactly what my married life was like. Empty promises and a permanent spot at the bottom of his priority list. This dream stirred up all those old emotions and has got me all freaked out about relationships again. For the moment. It'll pass.
Seriously, though. There is nothing worse than feeling unimportant to someone who is so important to you. I hope none of you know what I'm talking about, but I think the reality is . . . a lot of people experience that feeling at some point. I think that the next time I get married, I'm going to date the guy for awhile first and make sure he has his priorities straight. I don't want to experience anything like that ever again. Gah. Pain.
However - one good thing has come from all of those experiences, I think. I am now VERY impressed when a guy bothers to call me or say something that hints he's really into me. And I'm VERY impressed when they keep even the smallest of promises. ESPECIALLY the smallest of promises. I think it says so much. In a way, I think I need that more than I would have in the beginning in order to stay comfortable in a relationship, but at the same time . . . it doesn't take much - it's all about the simple things.
I have a new favorite song. And I LOVE it. I think it would be the best song to makeout to. I could even picture just cuddling on the couch and talking while this song plays in the background. I have a feeling this one will be at the top of my favorites list for a while.
Honestly -- I have yet to hear any song by Slightly Stoopid that I haven't LOVED. If you like this song . . . you'll like it all.
I have another confession. I should really just call up Becky or Miriam and talk to them about it and not throw all this stuff out there publicly, but I really just want to. So . . . what the heck.
You know those beginning "euphoria stages" (as Becky and I call them) of a relationship when everything is new and exciting and a little confusing? When you are giddy and girly and extraordinarily happy when you hear from him? Yeah . . . I can't decide what I think of this stage. I typically don't get here in a relationship. Usually, for me, the feelings never progress past a basic interest in the person. If I'm being honest, I'm not too sure I like being in this stage because I feel so vulnerable. Like . . . I'm officially to the point where I could really get hurt. I even dare say get my heart broken. Once I'm here . . . there's no going back. If things don't work out, I'm getting hurt, but if they end while things are still so new and exciting and in a generally heightened emotional state, it'll hurt worse. And yet . . . I'm not freaking out. Which is weird. But good. :)
Well . . . today is art day at the Club House. It's time I get ready for that.
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