Friday, December 7, 2012

Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!

I have been so stressed out that I am having the strangest nightmares almost every night. I can't remember all of them (thank heavens), but there are a couple that have stuck. Two nights ago I dreamt that I had two babies, a little girl and a little boy. Both were redheads even though I knew their father to be a dark brunette. I didn't want kids (their dad wasn't around), so I gave them to some family friends. They named them Aiden and Pearl, and I was PISSED! I hated those names! And then I wanted them back and couldn't have them! I know it sounds silly, but it was one of those dreams that you feel more than anything. It woke me up totally depressed.

Last night I dreamt that I was giving out free lift tickets to Targhee and I was so worried and stressed that I'd get caught. (Ummm . . . ??? NOOO idea where that idea came from. I'm not about to scam my own place of employment.) Anyway, I let my best friend and her family in and she ended up shooting someone and killing them. I saw her a few minutes later fleeing the scene with her crying children, telling them not to be afraid, that mommy and daddy aren't "bad people". (They really aren't. Again -- NOOOO idea where this is coming from.) Then I was worried that they'd tie me to the scene as an accessory since I was the one who gave her the lift tickets. It was horrible!!

This morning I woke up to find that my dvd player isn't working, so I can't do my workout. That alone stresses me out to the point of tears (nearly, anyway). If I don't get a good workout in before work, I lose steam less than halfway through the day. I'm very worried, stressed and pissed about it. And I agreed to work tomorrow (my only day off), so I really screwed myself over. I've been feeling so negative for a few weeks now. I don't know what to blame it on. The weather? Work? School? Maybe a little bit of all of those . . . ? All I know is that I need to get it together soon. I've been over stressed, over worked, and over eating for too long now!!

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