Okay, lately I have not had the best luck with bugs. It started a couple of days ago, and it was something straight out of the movie Arachnophobia. Seriously - that shower scene you know? Only mine was slightly less sexy due to the fact that it was my foot - not the space between my breasts - that was assaulted by nasty spider flesh. (If I'm being honest - I don't find spider flesh on any part of the body "sexy". Only "nasty".) It was early in the morning, and I had just finished my workout and was getting ready to get in the shower. I started the water, then proceeded to get in once the water was the right temperature. I was wetting my hair when I felt something tickle my foot. I looked down and there was a freaking spider trying to take refuge from the rushing water right there where my foot ends and my toes begin! Gah!! And he was HUGE! (For the record: Anything visible is "huge".)
It literally took every ounce of my self control not to freak out and break something. I literally wanted to punch a face in this moment. But then I faced a dilemma, because I really, really hate to kill anything. Even bugs. Even nasty, huge, spider-bugs. So I had to decide whether I wanted to tough it out with the little guy on my foot long enough to scoop him up with a piece of paper or something and then proceed to take him outside, or whether I wanted to just stick my foot under the water and let him wash down the drain. It was awful. On one hand, I really didn't want to hang out with the little dude any longer, but at the same time, I didn't want to set a date with Karma. All I could worry about was, what if he decides to hang on using his fangs???!!
Fortunately (or maybe not?) I didn't have to make the decision. The little (nasty) guy lost his grip on my foot and headed down the drain, anyway. :-? Gah!!! I have to admit that I was fully relieved that our time together had come to an untimely (for him) end. I wasn't even sad that I couldn't save him. (Please forgive me, Karma! Haha.)
I spent the remainder of my shower on full-ninja-alert. I was prepared for anything, man!
My second horrifying bug story involved a croissant. Anyone who knows me well knows that I can't (and usually don't) eat bread. Especially in the summer. (As it turns out, I'm allergic to something in it and it breaks my skin out something fierce.) Anyway, my family and I were all on our way to the rodeo. I was already in the truck. My little sister came out carrying a croissant which she had torn in half, and offered me one of the pieces. I respectfully declined, but she insisted she couldn't eat the whole thing by herself. I reluctantly took it and took a tiny (and I mean TINY - thank goodness -- you'll see why) nibble from the corner of it. I was rolling the piece of bread around in my mouth debating whether or not to swallow when I saw it. A tiny, very nasty, little bug crawled out of the bread. OUT of the bread. As in, it was INSIDE the bread before I bit it. If I had bitten off any bigger of a piece, that little guy would have been in my mouth!! EEEEEeeeeh! He was seriously gross, too. He basically looked like a little earwig, but without his little pinchers and about a BAZILLION little, long hairs sticking out from all over his body. I tried to get a picture, but by then we were moving, so I could only get this shot:
Imagine that face in your face while you're just innocently trying to consume some disgusting bread! To think, something very similar to this very nearly happened:
. . . I'm so glad I dodged that bullet . . .
(Omg, that picture is freaking me out. I don't care if it is fake. That's nasty.)
Annnnyway . . . I showed Aubrey my bread and my new little friend and we both chucked our croissant pieces out the window. Bug and all. Pretty sure that bug was actually an angel, because I am damn sure I'll never be tempted eat bread again!
:)
It literally took every ounce of my self control not to freak out and break something. I literally wanted to punch a face in this moment. But then I faced a dilemma, because I really, really hate to kill anything. Even bugs. Even nasty, huge, spider-bugs. So I had to decide whether I wanted to tough it out with the little guy on my foot long enough to scoop him up with a piece of paper or something and then proceed to take him outside, or whether I wanted to just stick my foot under the water and let him wash down the drain. It was awful. On one hand, I really didn't want to hang out with the little dude any longer, but at the same time, I didn't want to set a date with Karma. All I could worry about was, what if he decides to hang on using his fangs???!!
Fortunately (or maybe not?) I didn't have to make the decision. The little (nasty) guy lost his grip on my foot and headed down the drain, anyway. :-? Gah!!! I have to admit that I was fully relieved that our time together had come to an untimely (for him) end. I wasn't even sad that I couldn't save him. (Please forgive me, Karma! Haha.)
I spent the remainder of my shower on full-ninja-alert. I was prepared for anything, man!
My second horrifying bug story involved a croissant. Anyone who knows me well knows that I can't (and usually don't) eat bread. Especially in the summer. (As it turns out, I'm allergic to something in it and it breaks my skin out something fierce.) Anyway, my family and I were all on our way to the rodeo. I was already in the truck. My little sister came out carrying a croissant which she had torn in half, and offered me one of the pieces. I respectfully declined, but she insisted she couldn't eat the whole thing by herself. I reluctantly took it and took a tiny (and I mean TINY - thank goodness -- you'll see why) nibble from the corner of it. I was rolling the piece of bread around in my mouth debating whether or not to swallow when I saw it. A tiny, very nasty, little bug crawled out of the bread. OUT of the bread. As in, it was INSIDE the bread before I bit it. If I had bitten off any bigger of a piece, that little guy would have been in my mouth!! EEEEEeeeeh! He was seriously gross, too. He basically looked like a little earwig, but without his little pinchers and about a BAZILLION little, long hairs sticking out from all over his body. I tried to get a picture, but by then we were moving, so I could only get this shot:
But here's what I actually saw:
Imagine that face in your face while you're just innocently trying to consume some disgusting bread! To think, something very similar to this very nearly happened:
. . . I'm so glad I dodged that bullet . . .
(Omg, that picture is freaking me out. I don't care if it is fake. That's nasty.)
:)
