Monday, July 23, 2012

Heart Broken.

My heart is so broken right now. The past couple of days have been pretty rough. Yesterday I officially lost someone important in my life (not via death, thank goodness - but he's gone for good) and today I lost two of my babies. I had to "rehome" them. I SWORE to myself and to them that I'd have them until they died so that they'd never have to go through the trauma of being rehomed, but I simply couldn't keep that promise. It was easy when I had a hubby to take on half the responsibility and cost, but as a single girl, it was too much. So I had to give my girls to a better home.

I had to do it for so many reasons.

A) It was expensive to do vaccinations/teeth cleaning/annual checkups for 3 dogs each year.
B) It was a lot of work caring for all three - making sure they were fed and exercised enough as well as given enough attention.
C) It was almost impossible to go anywhere, and pet daycare is expensive.
D) (And this is the biggest reason) It was too expensive to find an apartment with all three dogs. And that's IF I could even find one that allows three pets. (Most allow 2 at most.)

Omg, though. I'm in so much pain right now. It wasn't too hard letting Remi go. She's very social and loves people, so I knew she would adjust just fine. Letting Harley go, though, was brutal. She fought so hard when the lady took her away. She was thrashing around and looking at me with the most panicked look in her eyes. I can't even think about it. It crushes me. And I get this overwhelming feeling that I just made the biggest mistake.

I pray that she will adjust soon. It was especially hard because she was my favorite of all my babies. I know you aren't supposed to have favorites, but she was just so sweet. And she made it very obvious that she loved me. I don't think my other dogs loved me as much as she did.

Shit. I can't talk about it at all. This sucks.

I hope I made the right choice. I guess I'll know soon enough. In the meantime, it's just me and my baby boy now.

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