The consequences of leaving your phone unattended

Actual texting conversation I had with my little sister's boyfriend from her phone. (He had no idea it wasn't her.) For the record - she was sitting next to me, laughing the whole time.

Him: How was dance last night?

                Me: It was good, but have you ever kissed a frog? Like . . . a real frog?

No! Why?

                Oh. No reason.

                Well. There is a reason.

And what’s that?

                Just, if you hear any weird rumors, talk to me first.

Did you kiss a frog?

                Well, I was really craving salt! It was super intense!

               And slime. Do you think less of me?

 Don’t worry. I didn’t get any warts. Well, any new warts.

You really kissed a frog?

            Technically it was more like licking, but yes.

            Do you think less of me?

Yes. I do.

            Don’t worry . . . I won’t do it again. It made me really gassy. Like . . .  the super rank kind. Have you ever had that?

We should hold hands tomorrow.